Alright, I’ll try put a temporary pause on the self-absorbed rhetoric. You most likely don’t have a Scooby Doo who I am. In that case then, my friend, please allow me to enlighten you.
On the 8th of January 1997, I was born in the cracking Cumbrian town of Kendal. An area as rainy as a romantic 40-day cruise on Noah’s Ark would be.
Unlike some seeking political clout, I’m not going to lie to you and pretend that I’ve had it hard or that I’m the chosen one.
My fantastic family isn’t poor, but it isn’t rich either. I don’t do my business in the back garden, but I also don’t have the glory of doing it on a solid golden throne either.
My dependable dad is a plumber, my magnificent mum works with special needs children, and my glowing grandparents own a lovely farm in the Lake District.
Between 2008 and 2015, I attended Kirkbie Kendal – a school with specialist status in business and enterprise.
Somehow, I managed to leave with nothing less than an equivalent C grade in both my GCSE’s and A-Levels. A bootless attempt at a brag, I know, but I still see it as a shod-free achievement.
I mean, I spent most of the time tinkering around with my fantasy football team and reading into the UK’s rotten relationship with the EU. But please don’t tell the mother that.
I’ve been in work ever since I was at school. My first two job roles were in retail. One situated in sportswear, and the other around fashion and homeware.
I then went to work in foreign exchange which gave me a stepping stone to where I am now – banking. But I’m not the kind of banker who rakes in millions every year (unfortunately).
Instead, I’m the kind of banker who has the honour of sitting down in meetings with lovely local people daily. All with the aim of making their finances a shining success.
I first got into politics in 2014, when I started campaigning to leave the EU. Since then, my passion for politics as a whole has sky-rocketed.
In 2016, after watching (and hating) how badly the Lib Dems were treating South Lakeland, I joined the Westmorland Conservatives.
My mission for our people’s magnificent success starts locally. I’ve had the privilege to stand in elections and canvass (or you might say ‘bother’) many people on the doorstep.
I suppose it could be worse though – at least I’m not coming round your house, trying to sell you cheap and nasty windows.
Locally in the South Lakes, my priority would be to make sure that your money is spent on your priorities. That’s why I brazenly believe in stopping stupid spending so that we can afford to cut council tax.
This also plays a part in why I want reverse the council’s punitive policy of rip-off car parking charges. Locals and tourists should not have to foot the bill for the Lib Dem’s failure on council finances.
I want also want housing here to be affordable in nature, and not just in name. And to protect those houses, alongside our businesses, we need to pull our finger out and finally invest in proper flood prevention.
Nationally, I want solid action for the NHS, rather than just empty calls to “chuck money at it”, and I want to see children from poor backgrounds the tools so that they have the ability to harness their full potential.
I also believe in purging the plague of political correctness whilst protecting free speech, as well as wanting us to come down a heck of a lot harder on crime and terrorists.